Post-Modern Love

FMC:  Hey, I don't mean to offend, but you're a sight for very sore eyes.

Woman:  That's not meaning to offend, but what do you mean?

FMC:  Well.

Woman:  You're blushing.

FMC:  Am I that obvious?

Woman:  Yes, and before you get your hopes up, I must tell you that I don't go for men.  Sorry.

FMC:  Who you calling a man?

Woman:  Huh?  You!  Your Adam's Apple is so big, you could lasso a cow with it.

FMC:  Whoa!  It's obviously not my place to tell you who you should be attracted to, but I need to call you out on your harmful, demeaning, and violent cissexism.

Woman:  Cis-what?

FMC:  You think I am not a woman because of what you perceive to be my 'male' anatomy.  That's a cissexist denial of my womanhood and my humanity.  

Woman:  Look, dude, and you are a dude--

FMC:  No, no, I am a woman.

Woman:  Do you have a penis?

FMC:  That's a rude question.

Woman:  Do you have a penis?

FMC:  Yes, and it's a girl's penis.  It's demeaning of you to want to debate my humanity.  Trans lives matter.  You want to erase my existence.  Fuck you and fuck the state, my womanhood is not a debate.

Woman:  Oh, I'm sorry.  I hurt you.  No, don't cry.  Listen, what can I do to make it up to you?

FMC:  Don't misgender me.  Don't be so cissexist.  Don't be a transphobe.

Woman:  I promise.  But can I do more?

FMC:  Well...

Woman:  You're blushing again...  Come on, it's alright.  It's just us women here.  You can tell me.

FMC:  Would you be willing to go down on me?

Woman:  Oh, okay.  You want me to suck your girl dick?

FMC:  Yes, please.

Woman:  Hold on.

FMC:  Oh, oh, thanks for this, yeah, right there, yeah, that's great external validation.  Yeah, yeah, oh, AAAH!  OH, MY GOD!  NO!  NO!

Woman:  Now, you're a woman, BITCH!  (exits)

(FMC collapses to the floor, holding his crotch.)

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